


just a moment

by dreadpiratewatson



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Boys In Love, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Pillow Talk, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Stucky - Freeform, True Love, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 15:19:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19832935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreadpiratewatson/pseuds/dreadpiratewatson
Summary: Steve thinks his best friend should have tried to return home after all he went through at the hands of Hydra. Bucky thinks otherwise.or1500 words of love confessions and fluff





	just a moment

Steve can’t remember the last time he slept in a bed. Not since the last night in basic, that’s for sure. Sharing a bed with Bucky though? They hadn’t done this since the night Bucky left Brooklyn for England, leaving Steve behind. 

Of course, back then, they had both been able to fit in the small bed back home. That isn’t exactly the case anymore with the extra ten inches and hundred-plus pounds on Steve’s new supersoldier body. They would have to buy a new bed when they return home. 

If they return home. 

He sighs, and turns his head to look at Bucky, who seems to be sleeping soundly beside him. He always looks so peaceful when he sleeps; like the little boy that had always been Steve’s friend as a kid, no matter what. Bucky who had saved his life so many times, in so many ways. Bucky who always complained that Steve never backed down from a fight, but never hesitated to fight for Steve. 

Bucky who should be home in Brooklyn, after all he went through in Hydra’s hands, not still fighting alongside him. 

The selfish part of Steve is happy his best friend was still with him, after coming so close to losing him, but the other part of him wants Bucky home safe where Hydra would never touch him ever again. The two halves fought constantly these days. 

From beside him, Bucky sighs deeply. “I can’t practically hear you thinking, Steve.” 

Steve startles, and looks back toward the ceiling. “Sorry, Buck. I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.” 

“Can’t sleep.” He says, turning over to face Steve. “Whatcha thinkin’ about so hard anyway. You should be sleeping too.” 

Steve bites the inside of his mouth to keep from saying anything. He can’t tell Bucky about this. He just can’t. 

Seemingly sensing that something is eating at him, Bucky props his head up on his elbow, and looks Steve over, his beautiful grey-blue eyes shining in the moonlight pouring in from the window. Steve feels his heart clench.  _ God,  _ he loves this man. 

“Steve.” Bucky urges anxiously. “What’s wrong?” 

“Why didn’t you go home?” He blurts before he can really stop himself. 

Bucky furrows his eyebrows, confused by his statement. “What are you talking about, ‘go home’?” He asks. 

Steve, realizing he can’t stop the words now that he’s already started, takes a deep breath. “After I found you. Why didn’t you go home?” 

“Because… I was cleared for duty?” 

“But you didn’t have to be.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Bucky…” Steve starts. “You could have gone home. You could have told the doctors that you weren’t fit for duty, and no one would blame you, and they could have sent you home.” 

Bucky tries to mask the hurt in his eyes, but Steve knows him too well. “Do you  _ want  _ me to go home?” He asks quietly. 

“No!” Steve shoots back, then quiets his voice. “No, but... you could have so much, Buck. Find yourself a nice girl, get married, all that. You won’t get that over here.” He swallows hard. “You just… won’t.” 

The other man tenses, but when he speaks, his voice his quiet, like he’d confessing a sin. “Do you think that matters to me?” He whispers. 

Now Steve is confused. He’s known Bucky wanted to get married since he was a child. Wife, kids, the whole package. He was a family man at heart. “Doesn’t it?” 

Bucky sighs, and lets himself roll back onto his back, and Steve assumes his previous position to see his friend’s face. He needs to know what Bucky’s thinking, because for the first time he doesn’t know, and that cares the shit out of him. “We talk about it all the time, till the end of the line and all that,” He starts to say, voice hushed and watery. “But I mean it. I really, truly mean it. I don’t want to go anywhere you’re not, Steve. I know it ain’t right, and they’d lock me up if they knew, but you’re all I want.” 

Steve’s mouth dries so quickly he barely has time to register it. There’s no way Bucky could mean it. There’s no way. Not Bucky, the famous skirt chaser around their neighborhood. Not Bucky, his best friend. Not Bucky, the man he loves more than air. “Buck-”

But Bucky keeps right on talking. “I almost died, Stevie.” Steve flinches at the reminder. “I know we don’t talk about it, but I almost died, and my last real thought when they took me away was that I never told you I loved you and that I was going to die without you ever knowing. And if you don’t wanna be my friend anymore after this, then that’s fine too, but I just couldn’t spend another day without you knowing. I just can’t. I  _ love  _ you, Steve.” 

The words hang in the air above them like a halo, and Steve doesn’t realize he’s crying until a tear drops down to his palm. This is the moment he’s waited for. He’s loved Bucky so long, long enough for two lifetimes, has rehearsed what he would say over and over again, but here the moment is, and he can’t think of a single,  _ goddamn thing to say.  _

And hell be damned, Bucky looks over at him, looking smaller than James Buchanan Barnes has ever looked in his whole life, eyes wide and terrified, and going wider still when he sees the tears cascading down Steve’s face. “Stevie… God, no, I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I mean, I thought- I  _ hoped…  _ I’m so sorry, Steve.” And now Bucky’s crying, and Steve loves him  _ so fucking much-  _

“I was so afraid I lost you, Buck.” Steve manages to say through his tears. “He said he had written your name down, and it was like losing my ma all over but it was different because it was you, and I never bothered to tell you anything, because I never in a million years would have thought that you felt the same way about me. I loved you so much, but you were all I had, and I needed to keep you, so I never said anything… I thought it was better.” 

Bucky reaches out, but pulls back like he’s scared to touch him. “Steve, you-  _ Steve,  _ if i had known- those dames, all of them, they didn’t mean-” 

Steve lets out the sob that’s been enclosed in his throat, and buries his face in Bucky’s shoulder like a child. “I thought you’d hate me if you knew.” He cries. 

“I could never hate you. Not for this, not for anything.” Bucky says firmly, but shaky, like he’s holding in a sob of his own. He wraps his arm around Steve’s shoulders, holding him close, allowing Steve to breathe him in. “God, if I had known, I would have said something years ago. Courted you real nice, like the way you’re supposed to. Proposed to you like we could get married the next day.” 

That make Steve laugh, and he pulls his head up. “Can I kiss you?” He asks. 

_ “God,  _ yes.” 

Steve presses his lips against Bucky’s, and the world explodes in fireworks. It’s not perfect; they’re both still crying, and they have to keep stopping because it’s awful to kiss with a stuffed up nose, but it’s Steve and Bucky and they’ve come this far. Far enough to never want to stop. Bucky’s lips are warm, and he tastes like cigarettes, but it’s perfect. Completely perfect. 

“I love you.” Steve says when they pull apart. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” Bucky replies, kissing him again. “Always have.” 

The two settle back into bed, Bucky curled up in the crook of Steve’s neck, his arm around Steve’s torso while Steve cards his fingers through Bucky’s hair. They’ve held each other before, but never like this. 

“You sure you want this, Buck?” Steve asks eventually. 

“‘Course I do.” Bucky looks up in concern. “Why?” 

Steve smiles sheepishly. “You could still have a pretty dame when we get back home.” 

Instead of frowning, Bucky grins. “You’re plenty pretty to me, doll. Prettiest dame in Brooklyn couldn’t compare to you.” He presses his lips against Steve’s again, smiling through the kiss. 

Then Steve hits him with a pillow, and they both erupt into a fit of giggles, happy for the moment, even if it’s just a moment. 


End file.
